On Not Being Able to Write and the Sound of Doom

I'm getting really frustrated with myself right now. I'm just finding it so difficult to write. I've set aside a number of days already--that is, I made no plans to eat out or watch a movie or shop--just so I can start writing and, hopefully, come up with, at the very least, five pages of solid writing. After four days, I still haven't come up with anything. Okay, I did go out last night for McDonald's (hoping that an apple pie and/or a chocolate sundae would cheer me up enough to write) and some Christmas shopping (because there was this store right in front of me with some really nice stuff), and yes, I've been spending more time on Facebook and particular addictions (aka applications) than I should, but that's only because it's become quite annoying staring at a blank page, especially since I've been doing it for hours. (I suppose the recent savagery--meaning, increased frequency--of my Slayer, Werewolf, Vampire, and Zombie attacks can be attributed to this frustration as well.)

I have to admit that last week and early this week, I wasn't really trying very hard to write. What hurts is that, in the past few days, I've been trying really hard, and yet, I just can't seem to make myself write. I'll start with one sentence, read it, delete it, start all over again. At one point, I got to write one full paragraph. It took me about three hours to write it. Right now though, that paragraph is in my Deleted file, because it doesn't sound academic enough (whatever that means!). My hope is that, with some choice of word upgrade, it'll find its way in the text somehow, so I won't feel so bad about it. I've always known that I find it difficult to start writing. It takes me hours, sometimes even days, to warm up, but it's been especially hard this time around.

I'm writing two papers: one for a conference presentation (and I hope, for the conference proceedings) and another for a journal. This means that I have an abstract for both, which means that I do know what it is I need to do and write. As I have laid out the arguments and specified the data and methodology in the abstracts, and as I have gone over my ideas in my head again and again, I shouldn't have such a hard time coming up with something. But there you go.

Both papers aren't due until the end of the year. (My presentation for the conference is actually on 13 Dec, but I'm not too worried about it. I mean, the presentation won't need the coherence and tightness that a paper entails.) I suppose this means I have time. But, see, if I'm not able to write right now, what more when the holiday season begins in full swing?! I'll be too busy, too distracted, too full, and too inebriated by then, so I really have to start coming up with something soon.

I remember the advice of my research methods lecturer: "Don't ever submit an abstract for a paper which you still haven't written." I don't really agree, but it totally applies in this case. It doesn't help that booming sounds of thunder can be heard right now. Ahhh, the sound of doom!