There. I just emailed my supervisor to let her now I'm not taking it. 'It' means an opportunity to be in Canada early next year (beginning in either January or March) for 4 to 6 months to connect with scholars in the University of Toronto and do my work from there. It means a sizable stipend, on top of what I'm getting now. It means a chance to get to know another culture, meet other kinds of people, and experience, at least 2 of the seasons again.
Why am I not taking it? I'd like to think it's because I'm being an adult about the whole thing. Taking this opportunity will take a lot from me. There's paperwork, making arrangements for my stuff here, setting up a new place there--all of which should be accomplished within a short period of time. Then, there are the other specific concerns: which books do I pack, which clothes, what kind of clothes, would I have friends there, would it be easy to go around town, how does the library work, etc, etc. I suppose it's just too much for a rather short stay, and it may not be worth it.
I also don't want to get distracted at this point in my life. As it is, I'm already distracted--by the Bangkok conference, Christmas, buying gifts, thoughts of going home, the little everyday things--and this is going to be a major distraction. My fear is that, I won't be able to do any work at all, because there would always be something needing my attention. Moreover, I'm already between countries. I suppose I don't want to add a third one and make things even more complicated.
But these are just, well, inconveniences, right? There has to be an academic reason. Well, I also did a bit of research on the University of Toronto, and while it has good academic programs, the scholars I want and need to meet and talk to are not there. But even if they were there, I'm also at that stage in my work where I need to figure things out on my own and for myself first, so connecting with other scholars is not really a priority right now. I suppose I just don't want to go out there with half-baked ideas and poorly constructed arguments.
So a new country and a sizable stipend and seasons notwithstanding, I have decided to pass this one up. There will be other opportunities later on. Preferably, in the UK and in the fall. :)
4 comments:
chos, sayang!... may maiiwan kasi eh. hehehehehe. :) hay, the decisions we make por da lab. joke!... pero sigurado ako, isa yan sa reasons. you just wanted to sound a 'reasonable'.
punta nga kayo dito! chige na!
regards ulit kay crammer...nagmamajong na naman yun. hehehehe. joke!
hahahaha! ikaw talaga, toix! :) in a sense, the whole thinking about it thing was a mental excercise and nothing more. hehe. :)
hindi mahjong, poker. hehe. :) take care! btw, uy, pakainin mo naman si x-nail. in case you've forgotten, x-nail is your fluff on facebook. hehe.
hahahhaahaha! love the mental exercise thing! salamat, sobrang natawa ako! hahahahhahahaa!
haynaku, mahjong na sunod niyan... hehehehe. remember? nagpoprogress yan eh... from scrabble to bingo to poker to mahjong! nasa penultimate stage na siya... hehehehe!
and... si xnail should learn to take care of herself. that's what it means to be in this world... walang pet pet... matuto siya! (ganyan din ako with the girls - wahahahhahaa!) ... ta mo, magugulat ka na lang, kakainin niya lahat ng pets niyo! hahahahaha!
hahahah, i'm so mean today... but really, napatawa mo ko sobra! hahahahaha! nice one with the mental exercise. thanks again!
naku, kawawa naman si x-nail. hehe. told fama about what you said about x-nail eating all of our fluffs. we'll feed x-nail na lang to be sure. :) you know, x-nail does look confused. hehe. :)
bakit ka natawa sa mental exercise? siguro madami ka din mental exercises no? hehe.
take care, toix! :D
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